The Question That Changed Everything

My heart was pounding as I followed him to the center of the room where he had set up two chairs. He pointed to the chair on the left, nodding. Then, he sat down across from me, his eyes fixed on mine.

“What can I do for you, Christina?” he asked, his gaze intense but kind.

By then, I had known Dick for several years. We often chatted after networking events and had even met for dinner on several occasions. When I started my business, he referred clients and offered useful insights about start-ups.

My fingers shook slightly as I pushed the hair out of my left eye. I didn’t want him to see my nervousness, so I pulled my hand down quickly.

Then, I explained that my business coach had tasked me with picking a few professionals that I respected and asking them one question.

“That sounds pretty simple,” he answered with a low chuckle.

My answering laugh sounded too loud in his quiet office.

“I guess it does,” I said.

He relaxed back into his chair, meeting my eyes with quiet confidence. This man was one of the biggest success stories in our area. Plus, I had grown to respect his kindness and his willingness to be of service. His opinion mattered to me.

“Okay,” I said, keeping my voice as neutral as possible. “Here we go.”

I took another deep breath.

“When I show up in a room, what do I bring with me?”

The simple question left me feeling more vulnerable than I had ever felt in my life. I was open to whatever he would say, but I was nervous. Thoughts bolted through my head, leaving me feeling sick, elated, terrified, confident, worried, and proud of myself. This was possibly the most vulnerable I had ever allowed myself to be. I was ready for whatever he might say.

Dick's eyebrows knitted as he regarded me. He pulled in a breath and leaned forward, elbows supported by his knees, his hands in a prayer position with his fingertips resting on his upper lip.

A full minute passed. A car’s horn beeped just outside the window, and someone yelled, but he only focused his attention on the question. I was aware of his mind whirring, choosing his words carefully, intending only the truth. He tilted his head slightly and finally spoke.

“I see in front of me a beautiful woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful and one who has no idea of the value she brings to the world.”

My immediate reaction was one of relief. I was still sitting there, fully whole, having just completed one of the hardest tasks I had ever been asked to do. And I did it for me.

My next reaction was to start crying. It was partly relief, and partly because in that moment, I knew that Dick really saw me. He understood who I was at the time, and he chose to be completely honest.

His response made me both sad and hopeful. My past had been about being fearful of being seen, yet I knew in that moment that everything had changed. I could never go back to a life of hiding, even if what I chose next was only for myself.

I would take the time to look inside myself to finally understand why I couldn’t see the beauty he saw and why I didn’t believe I was as worthy as people.

This would be the biggest, most challenging, and possibly life-changing task I would ever set myself up for. I felt it all flow through me. This is what we all came here to do—to learn to see ourselves fully and love ourselves anyway.

As I wiped the tears off my cheeks, I smiled at Dick and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.

“I am so appreciative of your honesty,” I said as I shook his hand with both of mine. He reached down and gave me the warmest hug I think I have ever experienced.

I remember walking out the door of his office, knowing that everything had changed for me. I was now ready to do the most important work of my life. With that thought, I stepped out onto the street and began the long walk to my car, humming softly.